If there is anyone who should not be kicked out of the class its me. Why? Because I am awesome and how can you kick an awesome person out of class? Without me, classroom discussions would become sessions of intense boredom from the lack of real reason to be in class. What’s the reason you say? It’s the desire of individuals to bask in my all powerful knowledge of books.* I am the only person who can safely say they survived a reading of Sesame Street A, B, C’s. The intensity of intellectual reverences in that book makes everyone jealous that I can see the deeper meanings in everything. This gift allows me to make unusual but completely factual references** taking our classroom discussions to an entirely new level of deep meaning.
For example, my in-depth analysis of (C is for cookie monster in the sesame street book) lead to a heated and explosive debate about communism in modern times in high school. Yes, I only have that incredible gift to see that the cookie monster’s action of always eating cookies refers to communism getting fat and high cholesterol off the “cookies” of society. What are the cookies of society?… Job opportunities and yes it makes sense because I said it who can deny an awesome person’s wisdom.
As you can see my awesomeness contributes to my insight into books like never before. Just that one example should have you desiring to bask in my glorifying awesomeness of literary knowledge. Yes that one example should make perfect sense and justifies my unique gift. If my come crazy reason you are still decided on kicking me out of class let me ask you one more question…
Do you accept cash or credit?
*(disclaimer: Superior book Knowledge is not necessarily based on the actual content between covers but rather the actual object)
**(reverences are not factual)